


Instants

by Lutefiskfisk



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Abandonment, Aftermath of Violence, Amnesia, Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, F/F, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gangs, Gun Violence, Horniness, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Animal Abuse, Insecurity, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Missing Scene, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood, Nichorello, One Shot Collection, Protectiveness, References to Depression, Riots, Separations, Shorts, Threats of Violence, Unrequited Love, i will add tags as i add chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2020-07-23 16:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 18,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20011438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lutefiskfisk/pseuds/Lutefiskfisk
Summary: A collection of more ficlets with focus on Nichorello.WARNING:This is consistent with season 7, therefore SPOILERS.





	1. Phone

**Author's Note:**

> Consider this one simply as additional chapters of "Insights", just that they're compliant with s7. The main reason for opening a new fic is that I wanted consistency across chapters, seeing that "Insights" contains chapters that don't go along with the new canon, and I thought it might be weird to have both versions in one fic.
> 
> This being said - Man, that fucking season! I don't really know where to go from that. I think I will keep "Insights" open in case you guys would like some additional chapters that, like, actively ignore s7. Just give me a shout if that's something you're interested in. I have a few ideas left from before the start of the season and I don't mind at all to go into a mode of nice "denial fluff" writing.
> 
> Likewise, if you have ideas for this one (preferably something on the lighter side that can be done in <=1000 words), also let me know. I'm not saying that I'm officially taking prompts, but who knows what it inspires me to.

Leaning against the door frame of Lorna's cell, Nicky inwardly sighed as she took in the sight of the brunette who was sprawled out on her bed and holding up her phone with both hands, face hidden by the white casing of the device. She cleared her throat.

No reaction.

She cleared her throat again, louder this time.

Still no reaction.

A full-blown cough.

For a second, Lorna miraculously lowered her phone, only to lift it right back up.

"Oh, honey, are you okay?" the brunette asked cheerfully.

Nicky raised her shoulders. "Yeah, well, as okay as I can be," she replied as she started to amble into the cell. "Unlike _you_ , if I'd just so happened to be a guard. You wanna be more careful with that thing, Morello."

A small nondescript sound was the only response Nicky received. At level with Lorna's head, she settled down on the floor.

"Eh, c'mon, what could be so engrossing that it lets you tune out all the splendor of this wonderful shithole? Did the husband post new photos of Lasagna Junior? Or is it another Pinterest spree for nursery decoration?"

"Checking on the sad, pathetic little lives of my former schoolmates on Facebook," Lorna responded, her eyes firmly trained at the screen in front of her.

"Uh, huh." Nicky was suddenly very aware of what had brought the other woman into prison.

"I mean, look at that," Lorna said, thrusting the phone into Nicky's face, so close that the blonde found herself unable to focus on what was most likely some person's profile picture. "That's Amanda Petersen, a real stuck-up little rumor-spreading, people-manipulating, despicable piece-of-shit fucking _bitch_! Always thought she was so much better, but guess what - now, unlike me, she's got no child but medical debt and a wine-drinking problem, and she is _fat_!"

"Uh, she sure is, sweetheart," Nicky replied, pulling away from the phone that Lorna was now vigorously shaking. It was a new pet name she was testing. So far, it had proven to be safer than 'baby', which, these days, was a surefire way to trigger yet another round of cooing over little Sterling. Nicky was happy for the other woman, at least as far as that was possible for someone who was regularly forced to look at the one thing she could never have given to the love of her life, but even her patience could be wearing thin.

Gratefully, her answer was enough for Lorna to withdraw the phone with a smile on her face.

"Want me to look someone up for you?" the brunette offered.

"Uh, not particularly."

"Oh, come on, honey, don't be such a killjoy!" In her enthusiasm, Lorna grabbed Nicky's arm and shook it a little. "Ain't there someone at your school that was really mean and conceited and smug and terrible?"

"Two private middle schools and three private high schools on the Upper East Side," Nicky sighed. "That makes thousands of little brats and that description fits every single one of them."

"No, not all of 'em."

"Huh?"

" _You_ are nothing like that. You're special."

"Well, I wouldn't put it _that_ way…"

Finally setting her phone aside, Lorna propped herself up on one elbow and brought her other hand to Nicky's cheek. Nicky clenched her teeth at the other woman's touch. Her hand was warm. In fact, it felt like a branding iron searing her skin.

"You're special to me," Lorna said, using her thumb to stroke small circles on Nicky's cheek. The blonde felt the cold metal of Lorna's wedding band dig into her flesh. She pulled away.

"Yeah, that's nice, kid."

"Aww, you're sooo bashful. That's so cute!"

With that, Lorna rolled onto her side and made to wrap an arm around Nicky's shoulders, but Nicky got to her feet.

"Sorry, kid, but I've got places to be. You go back to poking your pretty nose into other people's private lives. Just don't fucking do it out in the open like that was what I was gonna say, alright?"

Tugging on the hem of her shirt, she proceeded to walk out of the cell, and there was a sting in her stomach that matched the burn that she still felt on her cheek.


	2. Relief (Nicky)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it pisses me off that we didn't get to see any such scene in the show.

Nicky felt sick.

The queasiness had started when she'd returned from the kickball match and Lorna had been nowhere in sight. But it was okay, she'd told herself. Maybe she hadn't been able to return to D-Block without risking trouble, just as much as she, Nicky, hadn't been able to split from her group to go and check on her.

Or maybe the brunette had fallen asleep in the utility closet. So, when Nicky had gone there when she'd first had the opportunity later that day, she'd half expected to be faced with the adorable sight of a slumbering Lorna and to be able to tell her the exciting news - the kickball match had turned out peaceful and the horrible war between the blocks was finally over.

But such good things just wouldn't happen to her.

It was when she'd found the closet deserted that the nausea had set in. Gripped by a bout of panic, she'd started to run. She'd looked for the girl everywhere. But Lorna hadn't been in the rec room, not on the library, not in the showers. Medical had turned her away despite all protests and none of the COs she'd asked (or rather screamed at) had been even remotely helpful. Her one solace, she'd figured, was that the prison hadn't gone on lockdown yet.

Days had passed and Nicky had developed a habit of regularly checking on Lorna's cell. The uncertainty was unbearable, but as long as Lorna's belongings were still there, she could tell herself that Lorna was okay. But was she really? She'd only been seven months along. It was a dire prospect, giving birth so prematurely in a fucking prison. If the baby hadn't made it, this would completely destroy Lorna. Whenever her thoughts went _there_ , Nicky found herself racked with guilt. She shouldn't have left her. She should have found a different hiding place. _Anything._ The thought of Lorna dealing with that scared and alone broke her sorry heart.

A wave of relief flooded her body when, eventually, she saw the gates slide open and the brunette enter the block, sitting in a wheelchair pushed by CO Blake. She immediately scrambled from her seat and followed the pair to linger in front of the door to Lorna's cell where the guard helped the girl out of the wheelchair and onto her bed. A tired smile found its way on Lorna's face when her eyes met Nicky's and the blonde could have sworn that she herself was wearing the stupidest grin.

She looked up at Blake when he walked by her and, to her surprise, he nodded his head. Nicky chose not to question it. She immediately entered the cell and settled down on the bed where Lorna was patting the mattress for her, and then wrapped her arms around the brunette. Things instantly felt right the moment she felt Lorna's warm body against hers, as if a part of hers that had gone missing was returning to where it belonged.

"Fuck, Lorna. Man, I'm so glad to see you again. Are you alright?"

"Mmm," the brunette sighed into her shoulder. "Yes, it's all good. It's all fine. Well, after my second blood transfusion and the _purple_ fever-"

Feeling the color drain from her face, Nicky pulled back to look at Lorna.

"Lorna, what the fuck? What happened to you?"

Lorna just giggled.

"Oh, no, no, don't worry about me, honey,“ she said, placing a comforting hand on Nicky's chest. "I'm okay. Giving birth is just a _really_ messy business sometimes. Oh, can you believe it? I am a real mother now!"

An unwelcome feeling of inappropriate loss mixed into Nicky's elation but she pushed it aside.

"Fucking surreal," she said, cupping Lorna's cheek in her hand and smiling when the brunette leant into her touch. "But I'm proud of you. You're gonna be a great mom, I know it."

"I already miss him so much, my little Sterling Carmine Muccio," Lorna said with a sniffle. Sitting up straight, she dug her hand into her shirt pocket and produced a piece of paper. "Here. Isn't he perfect?"

"Change of heart with the name, huh?" Nicky asked as she took the paper. It was a photo of the baby in what clearly was the hospital with a bunch of tubes stuck to him, but otherwise looking happy and healthy. The thought that he was half Lorna made her smile.

"He's adorable," she remarked, and she meant it. "Look, what if I get you a phone, huh? Then Vinnie can keep sending you pictures. Keep you updated."

Lorna grabbed Nicky by the shoulders. "Oh, honey, you'd do that for me?"

"Course," the blonde assured her, wondering if there was anything that she _wouldn't_ do for the girl. "Now, tell me everything."

She shuffled on the bed to rest her back against the wall and allowed Lorna to lean into her. As Lorna rambled on about Sterling's cute little face and his cute little fingers and his cute little toes, she zoned out, drunken with the sound of Lorna's voice and the way she felt in her arms and determined to never let her go.


	3. Relief (Lorna)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lorna's perspective on the previous chapter, as requested by NanasTeaParty.

The past few days (Or was it hours? Minutes?) had been a blur. There had been pain - blinding, searing pain -, voices, people around her, an ambulance, more voices, more people, darkness, even more voices, even more people, the beeping of machines…

And then, they were a family. She and Vinnie and their little Sterling. She didn't care that she had to remain cuffed to her bed or that her breasts were still hurting. When Lorna was finally allowed to hold her sweet baby boy, the little wonder that she and her husband, now sitting by her side, had made together, everything was perfect. Her family was complete. Life was good.

The circumstances of the birth of her little boy and a nasty fever required her to spend more time in hospital than usual. In the meantime, there had been a steady influx of visitors. It was like everyone had been there. Vinnie's parents and kid brother, Franny and Jack and all their little ones, and even Mikey and her father, both of whom she hadn't seen ever since she got to prison. It was unreal, and what was almost stranger was being surrounded by all those people without a table or a pane of plexiglass in between.

Just one person hadn't been there. _Couldn't_ be there, Lorna assumed, and still, she longed for Nicky to be with her. The feeling was easy to ignore with all the lively, energetic bustle that surrounded her at daytime, but in the nights, when she was lying awake in her room, now dark and quiet, she couldn't shake the worry that she felt for the blonde.

The last moments they'd shared kept replaying in her mind. Nicky walking out of their hiding place into an unknown fate, despite her protests, because she, Lorna, had fucked it up again. The smile on her face that, under any other circumstances, would have been disarming, but then, had only made Lorna wish to pull her back even more. Annalisa's shiv against Nicky's throat, making Lorna fear that she'd be losing Nicky forever. And the thought of Nicky out there on the kickball field, surrounded by dozens of weaponed bitches who were all thirsty for murder, almost made Lorna wish that she could be back in prison, just to assure herself that Nicky was okay.

But when the day came, the brunette was filled with dread. Soon, she would be facing a possibly gruesome reality, and so she desperately held on to those last few hours in which she could feel just like a regular person. To the last look at Sterling that they'd let her have.

And all too soon, she was wheeled into D-Block. And there she was - Nicky. Wonderful, loyal Nicky, trying to get to her the moment she saw her. Warm relief washed over her, comforting her like a blanket, and she was elated when the CO allowed Nicky to enter her cell and the blonde walked nearer, back to her.

The woman all but fell into Lorna's arms and the brunette buried her face into her shoulder to stifle a relieved laugh. Nicky was alive. Unharmed. She had to tighten her embrace, drawing her even closer to herself, to assure herself that she wasn't just imagining it.

It was with a little pang of guilt that Lorna realized that Nicky had been just as worried about her as she'd been about Nicky. With everything that had been going on in her mind, she hadn't thought about what their separation must have felt like for the other woman. But it was just so endearing.

"Oh, no, no, don't worry about me, honey,“ she said. She brought a hand to Nicky's chest and felt the rapid thumping of her beating heart right there, another reminder that Nicky was alive and safe.

They'd always shared this habit of touching each other, for comfort, for reassurance, and sometimes as a downright lifeline. And so it came that Lorna finally found herself sitting between Nicky's legs, leaning against her while Nicky's arms were wrapped around her from behind in a safe, warm embrace. She told her all about Sterling, and it was only then that it fully hit her that she wouldn't be able to see her baby for another whole year, apart from those few minutes every couple of weeks when Vinnie would be there for visitation. One year in which she couldn't see him grow, couldn't watch him walk his first steps or hear him say his first words or be with him, holding him and soothing him, when he cried. But everytime her voice broke or a sniffle found its way out, Nicky reliably tightened her hold on her.

Eventually, Lorna twisted around to look at Nicky. The blonde looked so calm, so content, and it was such a contrast to the worst-case scenarios that had been going on in her mind that she couldn't help herself. She leant in to peck Nicky on the cheek, and she let out a little giggle when she saw the woman's smile widen.

"Now, tell me all that you've been up to," she said, resting her head on Nicky's shoulder and playing with a stray strand of her scraggly blonde hair.

"Ah, things have been pretty chill," Nicky said. "Turned out nobody wanted that war and the kickball was just kickball. Meanwhile, Carol and Barb have taken the matter into their own hands. Or their shivs into each other's bowels, as rumor has it."

"Oh," Lorna said, revolted by this mental image. "Who would have thought it?"

She looked up at Nicky again, letting her fingertips run down her cheek and smiling when the blonde closed her eyes at her touch.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Nicky," she said. "I was so worried about you."

Nicky's face contorted with guilt. "I'm so sorry."

"No, honey, don't-"

"Yes. It's… It's my fault. I... It's because of me that-"

Nicky didn't get to finish her sentence because Lorna covered her mouth with her hand.

"-that Kitten and I stayed safe," she said insistently. "If it wasn't for you, we'd have to join the kickball. You saved us."

Nicky jerked her head, freeing her mouth. "But nothing even happened."

"You couldn't have known," Lorna said, cupping Nicky's cheek. "You did good, honey. Just promise me to never scare me like that again."

"Alright. That's a promise."

She gave Lorna a peck on the temple and the brunette leaned her head against her shoulder again, blissfully closing her eyes and holding on to Nicky.

Right now, she was happy.


	4. Meatloaf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> or: Nicky Can't Fucking Cook.

"...and remember, you gotta start sautéing the onions before you add the garlic, and don't overwork the meat, or else it's gonna get all dense. Alright - let's go!"

Nicky's head was spinning. As far as she was concerned, Gloria could've just as well spoken Chinese. It was a comfort to know that she wouldn't have anything to do with this shit - until Lorna grabbed her arm and beamed at her in a way that gave the blonde a dire sense of foreboding.

"C'mon, Nicky, let's do the meatloaf together!" Lorna cajoled and dragged Nicky towards the freezer.

The taller woman squirmed uncomfortably. "Uh, shouldn't we just chop?" she asked, turning towards her usual workstation, but it only earned her a roll of Lorna's eyes.

"But we're chopping all day, every day! Don't you get tired of it?"

Nicky couldn't say that was the case. It was true that chopping was grunt work, but on the bright side, it didn't require much thought or care once she'd figured out how to do it under the forgiving eyes of Gloria and Red - and considering that they were only dealing with the same five kinds of vegetables or so, even that was a learning curve that had been well manageable. So far, Nicky had gotten away with doing that, handling the trays and pretending to check on the inventory every once in a while. But the prospect that, one day, more than that could be expected of her had been filling her with dread ever since she was made part of the kitchen crew. And it seemed like now, that day had come.

The thing was that Nicky didn't want her fellow crew members to figure out that she really knew zilch about cooking. And it wasn't just because of the major blow to her ego that admitting it or the almost guaranteed (and potentially life-threatening) disaster that faking it would entail - she couldn't bear the thought of losing this spot. It was weird to say that about a kitchen where she clearly had no place, not to mention a kitchen in a fucking _detention center_ which was atrocious by definition. But she appreciated this opportunity to spend time with both Lorna and Red - her family - and to be far, far away from D-Block where all she would have was mind-numbing monotony and junkie drama.

But, _of course_ , Lorna wanted to make a fucking meatloaf, Nicky thought to herself as she heaved boxes of meat off the freezer shelves. After all, it was the sort of dish that the stereotypical 50s housewife would serve her dearest husband when he came home from work. Maybe she was pretending that she was making it for Vinnie now.

Nicky took her sweet time unpacking the meat, and when she was done, she found Lorna examining the rack of spices, pulling out containers seemingly at random. Deciding to be helpful, Nicky walked over and grabbed the container closest to herself.

"No, Nicky, that's curry! We are _not_ using that!"

Nicky was about to ask if that was Lorna's way of saying that she somehow considered them superior to the Indians, but her question got stuck in her throat when her gaze fell onto the container the brunette was holding. _Thyme._ What the fuck _was_ that even? It had to be some odd kind of superpower that people like Lorna had, inherently knowing all those weird spices and which of them go into what dish.

Or maybe not, because the next thing Lorna gathered was eggs.

"Uh, Lorna, we're making meatloaf, not a fucking cake," Nicky remarked.

Much to her dismay, Lorna raised her brows.

"Yeah, the egg's what holds the loaf together. It falls apart without it."

Nicky felt herself blush to the roots.

"I know that. I was just joking, kid."

"Of course you were."

Lorna proceeded to slap a bunch of meat into a bowl and to add different quantities of the ingredients in front of her. Nicky tried to memorize what she was doing, but hopelessly lost track in the middle of it. So, she took some meat of her own and made a reluctant attempt at cracking an egg on the edge of her bowl. The egg remained whole. She hit it against the bowl just a little harder. The egg exploded in her hand and most of its gooey contents ran along the side of the bowl and onto the countertop. Swearing under her breath, the blonde went to the sink to grab a rag. When she returned, Lorna was, much to Nicky's mortification, picking shards of eggshell out of her meat with a maddeningly indulgent look on her face.

"Jeez, Nicky, you have no idea what you're doing, haven't you?"

Nicky kept her eyes firmly trained on the mess she was cleaning up.

"Yeah, you can save it, Morello."

"Oh, but that's nothing to feel bad about, hon. I just wonder how you managed to survive before you came here."

Granted, sometimes, Nicky asked herself that, too. It was a disturbing realization that in more ways than one, her life in prison was better than her life on the outside.

"Like every good junkie who hasn't learned any basic life skills," she replied with a scoff. "On crappy takeaway, drugs, candy and even more drugs."

Lorna made a sound that was full of dismay. "No, that won't do," she said. "Have you never heard the saying _'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?'_ "

"Good thing I don't have a use for a _man's_ heart then."

"Or a _woman's_ ," Lorna said with exasperation.

It was a cheap, cheap bait, but Nicky couldn't help herself. She looked up and smirked.

"Are you just talking 'bout women in general, or about a very specific one?"

"I was talking about _you_ , Nicky," Lorna said. "You gotta love yourself."

Even though Lorna had effectively deflected her feeble come-on, Nicky couldn't help but smile, and she cooperatively stepped to the side when the brunette came closer to her with a container of… _pepper_.

"There, let me show you."

Nicky listened as Lorna explained to her how to season the meat, and she tried to ignore the voice that told her how this showed how different the lives were that they'd come from and that they would, eventually, be returning to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And since I can't cook, either, I had to do research on that. Alas, have a [meatloaf recipe.](https://selfproclaimedfoodie.com/grannys-classic-meatloaf-recipe/)


	5. Leave

You know that feeling when your leg falls asleep? You know it's there, but it doesn't feel like your leg anymore. You touch it, maybe even hurt it, but the sensation isn't what's familiar. You try to walk on it, but you can only do it slowly and carefully because you feel like it will give way the moment you put weight on it, and you'll fall. 

Just that it's not your leg, it's your brain. 

And it's absolutely not doing what it's supposed to. 

Even though you need it to more than ever. 

Because you woke up all alone in a fucking hospital bed with no recollection of how you got there. You try to remember what the fuck happened, but all your thoughts are racing in an untamable, chaotic mess, and the harder you try to focus, the faster the thoughts seem to slip from you, like you're trying to hold water in your fist. And you know you should be upset and scared, but everything is fuzzy and numb, and you can't feel. Not more than a sad, pathetic shadow of what you're supposed to feel at least. 

Somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind, Lorna had a feeling of déjà vu. It had been a scary incident, a memory she'd really rather forget, but something eerily similar to this had happened to her a long time ago. Back then, she had come around on the fucking roof of a hotel after a night out. But that had to be because of the alcohol. People sometimes blacked out from drinking, right, and Lorna wasn't exactly known for handling her alcohol well. This time, however, she hadn't drunk. Or had she? 

No, she had seen Vinnie. She vaguely remembered his face, on the other side of that dirty plexiglass screen. Her sweet, sweet husband. Just that he hadn't been so sweet this time. He'd been angry. 

So, had _he_ done this? Had he attacked her somehow? Knocked her unconscious and given her brain damage, or whatever the fuck this was? But there'd been the glass between them… 

But he'd said something. Something bad. Something about Sterling. Just what? 

Try as she might, she could only recall fragments of their conversation. 

_"I can't do this anymore."  
_

_"We should get a divorce."_

He would leave. Again. And this time, he'd take her sweet little baby boy along with him. Away from her. Probably to live happily ever after with some whore he'd met. That made sense. It fit together. But why would he do that? Was it because of something she'd said? Something she'd done? But she'd always tried to be such a good wife. Why couldn't that be enough? 

But then, people around her, talking to her, grabbing at her, interrupted her train of thought, and then, they made her walk, and the effort of continuously putting one foot in front of the other took up all that was left of her mental capacities. 

And then, she was in D-Block, flanked by Nicky and Gloria who seemed concerned. She tried to explain what had happened but struggled to articulate her thoughts. In fact, it even was as if her brain wasn't allowing her to think those thoughts in the first place. And she didn't mind it. Speaking it out somehow made everything even more scary, and the numbness in her mind suddenly seemed oddly comforting. It was nice to not feel, to not think. 

But Nicky seemed so upset. 

"I should've been there for you." 

"I'm such a fucking asshole, how did I miss that?" 

_'No, honey, it wasn't your fault. It's that evil Vinnie, trying to take away my child. But not you. You're wonderful. You're here. You're always here.'_

It was true. Nicky was the one constant in her life that she could always hold on to. Even after she'd lost her whole family, everything that she'd ever wanted in her life, Nicky was with her. 

_Still._

Because sooner or later, people would always leave her. And now that Nicky had found somebody who wasn't as broken as she, Lorna, was, she was certain that Nicky would abandon her, too. She'd be better off without her anyway. 

But right now, she was here, stroking her hair and whispering to her in that warm, comforting voice of hers. 

"I'm so sorry for everything, babe. But I'm here now. I'm here, okay? And I'm not going anywhere, I promise. And whatever this is, we're gonna go through it together, alright?" 

Lorna faintly registered that just a few short days ago, hearing this sort of vow from Nicky's mouth would have made her feel triumphant. But now, between the numbness and the budding anxiety, it hardly felt that way at all. Everything just felt so wrong, and she needed Nicky to make it okay. 

She made a vague attempt at clutching the collar of the blonde's uniform and pulling her closer. 

Nicky hesitated. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah. Come here, please." 

"Alright." 

Nicky stepped out of her shoes, then lay down on the mattress next to Lorna and wrapped her arms around the brunette. It helped. Lorna closed her eyes and snuggled into her warmth. 

"You're all I've got left, Nicky. Please don't leave me, too." 

"I won't. I promise." 

She kissed Lorna on the top of her head. 

Maybe it was a side-effect of her weird altered mindstate, but a funny thought suddenly crossed Lorna's mind. If Nicky had been in Vinnie’s place and Sterling had been hers, Nicky wouldn't have left like Vinnie had. She'd been so good to them while she was pregnant. She was on their side. She understood. 

"Once I'm out, I'm gonna try to find Sterling as soon as I can." 

"Yeah, and I'm gonna help you. We won't let him get away with this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five chapters, and four of them take place on Lorna's bed. I need help.
> 
> Seriously, if you have any ideas for more chapters of this, let me know.


	6. Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the scene in s4 in which Nicky was standing alone in the yard.

Nicky wasn't sure if she liked the summer anymore.

Not that she really enjoyed the other seasons more, but a drabber sky at least suited the atmosphere here in Max. But the sight of the cloudless blue and the sensation of the warm rays of the sun on her skin made her feel that she was missing out now that she wasn't able to see any of the trees behind those shabby walls or go wherever she pleased. The fact that this was the second summer that she had to spend like this didn't help. But at least this time, she acknowledged with a faint smile at Lorna and Alex who were standing by her side, her family was here with her. Also, she did have tastes of freedom everytime they traveled to the detention center and back. Faint, pathetic tastes, granted, but that was better than nothing. And yet-

"This place sucks balls," said Flaca to Gloria as the pair was walking past, and Nicky wholeheartedly agreed. "Remember, this time last year, when we were at the lake? Man, I wish we could be there."

"The lake?" Nicky asked herself aloud, frowning. "How the fuck did they get to go to the lake? Did the guards let them out or something? Guided nature tours for felons, sponsored by MCC."

"Nope," said Alex. "They let themselves out. There was this great hole in the fence and half the prison escaped."

Nicky scoffed. "Fucking A. So, for once, something exciting happened in that place that didn't involve, y'know, murder, or a violent storm of gun-toting bozos, and I was stuck in this shithole."

"Oh, but if it is of any consolation, I didn't go there, either," Lorna chimed in.

"No? Too afraid the water would mess with your make-up, huh?"

"Yeah, I didn't hear that," Lorna grumbled. "But if you must know, I didn't go because _I was getting married_ ," she concluded in a blissful sing-song.

Nicky groaned inwardly. Of course, the one person who hadn't been happy because of the lake had been even happier because of her fucking wedding. She didn't need this piece of knowledge. It only reminded her again that if she, Nicky, hadn't been sent to Max, Lorna would never have met Vinnie, never have gotten married and never have gotten pregnant. Life could have been so different now.

"And you, Vause?" she inquired, turning to Alex. _'Please tell me you weren't frolicking in the lake, either,'_ she added as a silent plea.

Alex gave her a pointed look. "Let's just change the topic, alright?" she asked, and Nicky knew better than to press further.

"Yeah, let's not dwell on the past, think about the future, Nicky!" Lorna responded brightly. "Only one more year, and you can see all the lakes you want, and you can travel anywhere. Isn't that exciting?"

"Okay, we _really_ need to change the topic now," Alex insisted. "Thinking about the future only makes me realize how long I'm still stuck in this place."

Nicky was grateful for Alex' interjection, but for the opposite reason. The thought that she had only one year left scared the shit out of her. She had no idea what to do when she got out. Whenever she was foolish enough to imagine a future for herself that wasn't entirely depressing, it had involved being with Lorna, and maybe helping out Red in her store. But between Red's extended sentence and the prospect of Lorna playing the perfect, happy family with Vinnie and their kid, this was going straight down the toilet now.

"But I'd love to travel," Lorna mused. "Of course, I _will_ when Vinnie and I go on our honeymoon. But so far, I've never been further than the Jersey Shore. It must be so cool to be on a plane and to see whole different countries."

This was a perspective that Nicky understood, but couldn't fully grasp. Ever since she was a toddler, Marka had kept dragging her along on whatever travel she had to do, so, to her, traveling had always been more of an annoyance than something that had to be appreciated - until it was gone.

Apparently, Alex was thinking in a similar way.

"Believe me, the flight is the most annoying part of it," the older woman said.

"Yeah," Nicky agreed. "You're stuck in a tiny enclosed space that smells like farts with hundreds of others, including smelly obese persons and crying babies. Sounds familiar?"

Lorna huffed. "You two are such killjoys. What about being so high in the sky, and looking down at everything, even at the clouds-"

Now that Lorna was putting it that way… Nicky looked up. It was unfathomable to be a part of the sky, to be so far beyond the walls and grids that were caging them in. From up there, the prison surely was nothing but a tiny, meaningless speck in a seemingly endless landscape.

"-and just leaving this whole shit behind," the blonde added - and then Nicky and Lorna stared at each other as they realized that they both had concluded Lorna's ramblings in the exact same manner.

"You two are scary," Alex remarked.

But Lorna just beamed. "See?" she asked, gripping Nicky's arm. "The both of us, we gotta be traveling together."

Nicky smiled. "Yeah, we do," she said.

It seemed way too good to be true. More likely than not, it would never happen, or, arguably worse, she would end up as the appendage to some family trip. But the prospect of being out there, free, and exploring a new part of the world with Lorna was a version of the future that she could be looking forward to.


	7. Tough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all, apologies to everyone who has given me prompts for taking so long to write them. I actually got inspiration to write multiple things that I have all started in parallel (and those prompts are among them) despite not having much time, so... let's see what I'll finish when. But for now, I felt like something that is not based on s7. Feeling nostalgic for a time when shit wasn't yet so depressing.

"Fucking Pornstache could have all the H in the world and I still wouldn't suck him off," Nicky told Tricia over their game of Scrabble, and Lorna flinched.

It was the nonchalance with which Nicky had said this sentence, summing up so many things that were just so _wrong,_ that had caused her reaction. But that's who Nicky was. She was so tough, so hardened, so unlike Lorna's guileless, delicate self.

Sometimes, she wondered what Nicky could possibly see in her, Lorna, who was so different from the blonde. Not that she was complaining. Being associated with someone who was as high up in the prison hierarchy as Nicky was made her feel safe and gave her privileges, and there was just something comforting about her company that Lorna appreciated. In fact, she looked up in awe to the blonde who always strutted around the prison as if she owned the place. Who only had dismissive scoffs to spare for all the prison drama. Who spoke so cooly about the most horrifying things, like nothing could ever faze her.

_"Jesus, Boo, keep going like that and someone's gonna shank you in your sleep."_

_"I'm sick of Gina complaining 'bout the SHU. She was in there for what? Just one fucking week? Gimme a break, man."_

_"Nah, I guess not replacing that door is just Litchfield’s way of playing nice with girls who have a pee fetish."_

It was a few weeks after her admission that Lorna walked down the hallway. A smile played around her lips when she saw Nicky on the other end. The woman was facing the window to the visitation room, her arms propped on the frame that she was heavily leaning against. Lorna wondered what she was doing. If she had a visitor, why didn't she just go in? It wasn't like there was a waiting line.

"Hey, Nichols!" Lorna greeted the blonde when she was within earshot. "Waiting for your folks?"

Nicky didn't immediately turn towards her. When she did, she was wearing her usual smirk, but something was off. Maybe Lorna just imagined it, but did her eyes look a little bloodshot?

"Yeah…" Nicky said. "Something like that."

"What do you mean?"

Nicky just shrugged, then turned her gaze back to the window.

"No," said Lorna. "Who are you-"

She stopped herself mid-question when she saw the way Nicky was gazing at the people on the other side of the glass. She looked uncharacteristically sad, forlorn even, as if she longed to be among them. And suddenly, Lorna realized that she'd never heard Nicky talk about any visitors of hers. Could it be-?

It was now so obvious that she seriously wondered how she'd never noticed it before, the vulnerability in Nicky, this poor lonely girl, that was now shining so clearly through the cracks in the tough facade that was meant to be hiding it. And it didn't make her think less of her - it made her feel a tender affection that was bubbling up inside her. She didn't dare to hug the woman, not after she’d just put her foot into her mouth like that, but she couldn't help but step up to Nicky and lean into her side as she looked out of the window as well.

"Look at those two," Lorna said, pointing at an inmate who was talking to an elderly man. "I wonder what they're talking about. _'Oh, daddy,'_ " she started, taking on the voice that she imagined the stranger to have. " _'I have such a bad case of shower fungus. My feet are all itchy and my toenails have turned green.'_ "

Nicky turned towards her and Lorna's heart swelled when, instead of a sad face, she was met with a glowing smile. The blonde turned back to the window.

"And those two," Nicky said, playing along, and pointed at another inmate who was visited by a guy her age, then changed her voice as well. " _'Oh, baby, my bunkie always groans and farts in her sleep, and I think I've found a new fetish. So, sorry, babe, but I might just have to leave you.'_ "

"Oh my God," Lorna said, snorting. "But what if he's into that?" She deepened her voice. " _'Oh, sweetie pie, that's so fucking hot. I can't wait 'til you're out, so I can groan and fart all over you.'_ "

"Ew. Jesus, Lorna," Nicky said with a sort of mock exasperation that couldn't quite stifle her laughter, and scrunched up her face.

"Alright, but what about those two?" Lorna pointed at another pair. " _'Yes, can you imagine, I ran out of commissary_ again _, because shit here's so_ fucking _expensive. So I went and fried me some roaches, and what can I say? They're really delish and I hope I still get them when I get out.'_ "

" _'Yeah,'_ " Nicky said in the same voice. " _'And the_ goddamn motherfucking _cooking shows that are running all the fucking time have given me so many ideas on how to serve cock-a-roach. I want to open a roach-based snack bar and I need_ you _to find me some premises.'_ "

Letting out a chuckle, Lorna took hold of Nicky's hand, and she was elated when she let her.

"C'mon," she said, guiding the blonde away from the window and vowing to herself to not leave her alone.


	8. Text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A different format this time. Because if everyone has a phone, why wouldn't they use them this way? Plus, I suppose junkienicky is rubbing off on me, lol.

**_Lorna, 11:31 pm_ **  
Nicky

**_Lorna, 11:32 pm_ **  
Nicky

**_Lorna, 11:32 pm_ **  
Nicky

**_Lorna, 11:32 pm_ **  
Nicky!!

**_Lorna, 11:33 pm_ **  
NICKY!!!!!!!

**_Lorna, 11:33 pm_ **  
Whats the matter with u? Yru ignoring me? 😡

**_Lorna, 11:34 pm_ **  
Nicky! 😡😡😡😡😠

**_Lorna, 11:34 pm_ **  
C'mon! 😠😠

**_Nicky, 11:34 pm_ **  
Lorna, wtf?

**_Lorna, 11:34 pm_ **  
Oh, there she is at last

**_Lorna, 11:35 pm_ **  
What took u so long?

**_Lorna, 11:35 pm_ **  
I wrote u like a million times

**_Nicky, 11:35 pm_ **  
Yeah no shit kid

**_Lorna, 11:35 pm_ **  
Didn't u hear ur phone?

**_Lorna, 11:35 pm_ **  
Or yru not writing back?

**_Lorna, 11:36 pm_ **  
Cause you can't possibly be busy rn. Unless ur screwing ur bunkie?

**_Lorna, 11:36 pm_ **  
Don't tell me ur screwing her 😠🤮

**_Lorna, 11:36 pm_ **  
NICKY!

**_Nicky, 11:37 pm_ **  
No, as a matter of fact, I didn't hear it

**_Lorna, 11:37 pm_ **  
Oh

**_Nicky, 11:37 pm_ **  
Cause I have all the noise turned off. As you should too

**_Nicky, 11:37 pm_ **  
Don't fucking tell me your phone rings whenever you get a text

**_Lorna, 11:38 pm_ **  
Don't be silly hun. I have it on vibration

**_Nicky, 11:38 pm_ **  
Oh good. That's so much better

**_Lorna, 11:38 pm_ **  
It is, isn't it? 😊

**_Nicky, 11:39 pm_ **  
NO!!! Jeez. Aren't you thinking? The COs could still hear it and you'll get years added faster than you can say "I want my kid to still know me before he's old enough for making stupid fucking life decisions like starting a nice little chat in the middle of a fucking prison with his phone sounds on" goddammit!

**_Lorna, 11:40 pm_ **  
Aww ur so cute when ur upset 💞

**_Lorna, 11:40 pm_ **  
But OK, I'm gonna turn it off. If it makes u happy

**_Lorna, 11:42 pm_ **  
I can't find where 😥😥😥

**_Lorna, 11:42 pm_ **  
Oh wait, I can Google it💡

**_Lorna, 11:45 pm_ **  
Alright…

**_Lorna, 11:47 pm_ **  
I turned it off now

**_Nicky, 11:47 pm_ **  
Good. Now go to sleep Lorna

**_Lorna, 11:47 pm_ **  
It worked!!! 😄

**_Lorna, 11:48 pm_ **  
Yay!!! 😄😄😄

**_Lorna, 11:48 pm_ **  
But I can't sleep

**_Nicky, 11:48 pm_ **  
Then count some fucking sheep

**_Nicky, 11:48 pm_ **  
Or read something boring on your phone

**_Lorna, 11:48 pm_ **  
But I don't wanna b alone with my thoughts

**_Nicky, 11:49 pm_ **  
Or play some fucking candy crush or something

**_Lorna, 11:49 pm_ **  
I need u to distract me

**_Lorna, 11:49 pm_ **  
Please

**_Lorna, 11:49 pm_ **  
Please Nicky please

**_Nicky, 11:49 pm_ **  
Christ, lorna

**_Lorna, 11:49 pm_ **  
Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease

**_Lorna, 11:50 pm_ **  
Entertain me

**_Lorna, 11:50 pm_ **  
😿

**_Lorna, 11:50 pm_ **  
😿😿😿😿😿

**_Nicky, 11:50 pm_ **  
Fucking hell lorna

**_Lorna, 11:50 pm_ **  
Please

**_Lorna, 11:50 pm_ **  
It's dark and cold and I'm alone and scared

**_Lorna, 11:51 pm_ **  
😿😿😿😿😿😿😿😿😿😿😿

**_Nicky, 11:51 pm_ **  
Alright. You win

**_Lorna, 11:51 pm_ **  
😀😀😀

**_Nicky, 11:51 pm_ **  
Why are you scared?

**_Lorna, 11:52 pm_ **  
I was just saying that…

**_Nicky, 11:52 pm_ **  
U sure?

**_Lorna, 11:53 pm_ **  
Yeah, I'm fine.. I'm good. I just wanted to get ur attention is all

**_Nicky, 11:53 pm_ **  
Good. Now that we've established that you're, in fact, fine, there s no reason for you not to go to sleep now

**_Lorna, 11:53 pm_ **  
No

**_Lorna, 11:54 pm_ **  
U can't just do that

**_Lorna, 11:54 pm_ **  
U said I won

**_Nicky, 11:54 pm_ **  
Jesus

**_Lorna, 11:54 pm_ **  
Oh c'mon, what's ur problem anyway? Ur a night owl, u can't actually be trying 2 sleep

**_Nicky, 11:55 pm_ **  
Not with you keeping me up, I sure can't

**_Lorna, 11:55 pm_ **  
What do u do in all those long dark lonely hours all by urself?

**_Nicky, 11:55 pm_ **  
You don't wanna know

**_Lorna, 11:56 pm_ **  
Yes I do. Tell me babe

**_Lorna, 11:56 pm_ **  
Please

**_Lorna, 11:56 pm_ **  
😿

**_Nicky, 11:56 pm_ **  
Is this supposed to be sexy or what?

**_Lorna, 11:57 pm_ **  
So what if it is?

**_Nicky, 11:57 pm_ **  
With a fucking cat emoji???

**_Lorna, 11:57 pm_ **  
Oh c'mon Nicky, don't b like that ☹️

**_Nicky, 11:58 pm_ **  
Ok, FINE

**_Nicky, 11:58 pm_ **  
So you're into vibrating things morello?

**_Lorna, 11:58 pm_ **  
Lol

**_Lorna, 11:58 pm_ **  
Aw, there she is my funny Nicky 💞

**_Nicky, 11:59 pm_ **  
Uh

**_Nicky, 11:59 pm_ **  
Now that took a turn

**_Lorna, 11:59 pm_ **  
I miss u 💔

**_Lorna, 11:59 pm_ **  
I miss u all the time

**_Lorna, 11:59 pm_ **  
I wish u could be here

**_Lorna, 00:00 am_ **  
Remember how we used to sneak into each other's bunks in camp when I couldn't sleep or u thought I couldn't sleep or I thought u couldn't sleep?

**_Lorna, 00:01 am_ **  
I wish we could still do that ☹️

**_Lorna, 00:01 am_ **  
I would've come 2u.hours ago

**_Lorna, 00:01 am_ **  
Nicky?

**_Nicky, 00:02 am_ **  
Yeah

**_Nicky, 00:02 am_ **  
Yeah I wish we could go back to that too

**_Nicky, 00:02 am_ **  
Things were simpler then

**_Lorna, 00:03 am_ **  
Yeah they were

**_Nicky, 00:03 am_ **  
On the other hand, your feet were always cold af

**_Lorna, 00:03 am_ **  
They were? 😨😨😨

**_Lorna, 00:03 am_ **  
U never told me that 😰

**_Nicky, 00:03 am_ **  
Yeah, like some fat fucking chunks of ice

**_Lorna, 00:04 am_ **  
U put up with that all this time and u never said anything aww 💞💞💞

**_Lorna, 00:04 am_ **  
Next time I'm gonna make sure they're warm 4u

**_Nicky, 00:04 am_ **  
Lol, next time?

**_Lorna, 00:04 am_ **  
Well ofc

**_Nicky, 00:05 am_ **  
Like here? In this place? Where they lock the fucking doors at night? Fat chance.

**_Lorna, 00:05 am_ **  
Aw, u gotta b more optimistic hun

**_Nicky, 00:05 am_ **  
Idk what to tell you…

**_Lorna, 00:06 am_ **  
Well, I'm telling u everythings gonna b fine. Everythings gonna b OK. No matter how shit things are, they'll b OK. U just gotta believe in it real hard.

**_Nicky, 00:06 am_ **  
Well, isn't that the perfect mindset to go to sleep to?

**_Lorna, 00:07 am_ **  
Yeah

**_Lorna, 00:07 am_ **  
Nicky?

**_Nicky, 00:07 am_ **  
What?

**_Lorna, 00:07 am_ **  
Thanks

**_Nicky, 00:07 am_ **  
Uh… Idk what for but… You're welcome

**_Lorna, 00:08 am_ **  
For being u.. For being here. Even though ur not really here-here, but u get what I mean

**_Nicky, 00:08 am_ **  
Anytime

**_Nicky, 00:09 am_ **  
Except for in the middle of the goddamn night. Jesus.

**_Lorna, 00:09 am_ **  
Lol

**_Lorna, 00:09 am_ **  
Goodnight, Nicky!

**_Nicky, 00:09 am_ **  
Good night, kid. Sleep tight!

**_Lorna, 00:10 am_ **  
U2. Luv u 💞


	9. Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I can't help but wonder how Nicky even knew about _that._  
>  (I'm sorry.)

Every once in a while, the things that were going on around Nicky made her feel the urge to pull her brain out of her skull and to hurl it far, far away.

And now being one of those times, she dearly wished that she could unhear the snippets of the conversation between Boo and Sister Ingalls that she'd just had the misfortune to overhear (for real, if any sort of privacy was what they were going for, maybe they should've chosen some place other than the motherfucking _stairs_ for their little chat) or rid herself of the mental images that came along with that. And yet, with a morbid sort of fascination, she was unable to tear herself away from their talk and pressed her back against the wall of the landing she was standing on to continue eavesdropping.

"So, tell me, Sister," Boo said, "am I going to hell?"

"Well," Sister Ingalls replied, sounding uncomfortable, "it is true that the Bible is, in fact, rather clear on this subject matter, but-"

"What she's trying to say-" Nicky said loudly and stepped out of her hiding place, making the two older women flinch. "-is, _of course_ , you're going to hell! You sick fuck!"

"Whoa there, Nichols," Boo said with a level of countenance that was almost admirable given the circumstances. "I haven't asked for _your_ opinion!"

"You could've asked _anyone_!" Nicky blurted out. "I mean, a _dog_? What the hell did you expect, Boo? That anyone's cool with that? That anyone would go, _'Alright, Boo, that's not depraved at all, keep going'_? Cause I can guarantee you, even the hillbilly meth heads down in the Laundry won't tell you that."

"I swear to God, Nichols," Boo growled, "if you don't stuff it, I'm gonna break your fucking neck!"

"That's a risk I'm willing to take," Nicky smirked. "This is just too fucking good to give up. Brace yourself cause I'm never gonna let you live this down, Boo. I mean, I know you're desperate as shit, but to stoop _that_ low-"

"Yeah, you would know about _'desperate'_ , isn't that right, Nichols?"

"The fuck are you talking about? _I'm_ not the one sodomizing poor, helpless animals."

"But you've been on a worrisome dry spell ever since Morello's ditched your ass, haven't you?"

To Nicky's horror, she felt herself blush.

"Are you fucking keeping tabs on my sex life?" she asked, trying to sound enraged so that Boo could attribute the change in her complexion to nothing but anger. "You're seriously racking up the creepiness today. That's impressive."

Disconcertingly, Boo was still looking smug.

"There's no need for that," the older woman said. "One can tell a mile off what's holding you back. You don't wanna be unfaithful to your little girlfriend cause _you're in love_."

And she'd thought that she was hiding the way she was yearning for Lorna stealthily enough. Fuck. Was it really that obvious? She felt even more heat rise to her face.

Gratefully, she was spared the need to reply by the appearance of Lorna herself.

"Ohhh, who is in love?" the brunette inquired with the enthusiasm of a hopeless romantic who has just found a new love story to gush over.

"Boo is," Nicky said without turning her gaze. "She just found herself a new bitch."

Lorna beamed, eyes gleaming.

"Congratulations, Boo!" she all but sang, patting the woman's arm. "That's so good for you after everything with Mercy! Do I know her?"

"As a matter of fact, you do," Nicky said, struggling to not burst into laughter at the sight of the increasingly indignant look on Boo's face.

"You know what?" Boo spat. "That conversation's over."

And with that, she turned her back and marched off.

"Did I say something wrong?" Lorna asked, bedazzled.

"Nah," Nicky said. "She's just-"

"On her way to find God," Sister Ingalls chimed in. "Or so I hope."

Lorna's eyes widened with understanding.

"Ah, and, of course, that's code for _'going to the chapel'_ , which is code for… uh… _'prayer'_ ," Lorna caught herself just in time after a fleeting glance at the nun. "Lots and lots of prayer to the Lord Almighty. We should give the two some space."

"Yeah, it's the best for everyone if we just stay well away from them," Nicky agreed.

As they continued their descend down the stairs, Nicky couldn't help but ask,

"Hey, Morello, ever noticed that _'GOD'_ backwards is _'DOG'_?"


	10. Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "A continuation of the scene where Lorna comforts Nicky".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated this in an eternity. I'm sorry for the wait. There's life, me working on some other stuff, and this season makes it hard for me to find motivation, honestly. But here finally is a new one.
> 
> I know I still have a prompt that deals with Lorna's jealousy. Doing this one here before it will probably mess with the linearity, but I was feeling it more right now and needed to get it out of my system. The other prompt will come, too, eventually.
> 
> Shoutout to the guest who requested this back in Chapter 5.

Lorna sighed inwardly, resigned, when Nicky got to her feet, beckoned away from her by a knock at the door in the middle of their conversation. That was her life now, she figured. Everyone was leaving her these days, and that included Nicky, now that the blonde had found herself a new piece of meat. Maybe she shouldn't have been so foolish to believe that the fact that Nicky had spent the past few hours by her side meant that she'd finally come to her senses. Everyone was still more important to the woman than her.

"It's from Shani," a voice came from the door.

Of course it was. As if it wasn't bad enough that this interfering immigrant girl was all over Nicky in the kitchen, now she also had to send her love notes.

But as she was reading the letter, Nicky didn't look smug or pleased. Her body slumped as she trudged back to the bunk and then sat down, eyes trained at the piece of paper the whole time. This wasn't the reaction Lorna had expected at all. Even through the lingering fog in her brain that was still slowing her thinking, she could sense that something was wrong.

"What is it, honey?" she asked, concerned.

It gained no reaction. Nicky only doubled over, covering her eyes with her free hand.

"What is it?" Lorna repeated. "Hey."

Grabbing Nicky's shoulders from behind, she brought her down with her, slightly alarmed by the fact that Nicky just let her.

"So fucked up," the blonde said, shaking her head. Her voice was uncharacteristically small, strangled even.

"It's okay," said Lorna.

It sounded lame even to her own ears, because, obviously, whatever it was, it was _not_ okay. She didn't think that she'd ever seen Nicky like this. Normally, when the blonde was upset, there would be a good amount of anger. Rage even. She would loudly complain, lose herself in an agitated rant, and snap at whoever had the misfortune to be nearby. But now, as Lorna looked down at her, she looked so broken, so pained, as her eyes were closed and silent tears were running down her cheeks. Almost like a child that needed to be comforted, Lorna mused, and she cupped her cheek with her hand, using her thumb to gently wipe away the trickle of tears there.

"I'm here, honey," she said. "Whatever it is, I'm here, and it’s gonna be okay."

"It's not," Nicky whispered. "Everything. This whole place. All of it. It's just… shit."

Lorna shifted her body to press herself closer to Nicky's, remembering that the physical contact was what had helped her most after Vinnie's betrayal. As she did, she heard the rustle of the letter between their bodies. Of course. The source of it all. She longed to read it. If she knew what was in it, what was troubling Nicky so much, maybe she'd know how to help.

"Can I-" she started hesitantly, touching Nicky's hand that was clutching the paper.

It felt weirdly strange now. Not at all like exposing the dastard scheming of some freeloader who was attaching herself to an easy target on her quest for a green card. More like sticking her nose into something sacred, something highly intimate, where it didn't belong. She felt even worse about it when Nicky opened her eyes and looked up at her with so much vulnerability. But after a moment of hesitation, she handed her the letter. Lorna took it gingerly and unfolded it with trembling fingers.

 _"Dear Nicky,"_ she started to read. _"they are taking me back to Egypt today."_

Under any other circumstances, this revelation would have made her feel triumphant. Happy that this meddling person was finally gone, back where she belonged. But now it didn't feel like it at all.

_"I wish I could have thanked you for adding a little bit of humanity to this place."_

_'Yeah, that's a nice way of saying 'fucking in the freezer','_ Lorna thought to herself. A second later, she hated herself for this thought.

_"It is people like you that keep people like me alive. You meant more to me than-"_

Lorna stopped reading. Her stomach was clenching terribly. She had misjudged Shani, had misjudged the relationship that Nicky had with her, completely. Apparently, it hadn't been just fucking, or some scheme to weasel herself into this country. Somehow, the woman had managed to see Nicky for the wonderful person she was, and the feelings that they both had for each other were so deep and so real. And Lorna, the expert for all things love, had completely missed it. All of it. How was that possible?

"I'm so sorry, honey," she whispered, not sure which of the million things she felt guilty of she was apologizing for precisely.

Nicky's eyes were squeezed shut again, her body shaking with silent sobs. When Lorna returned her the letter, she pressed it to her chest. The sight broke Lorna's heart.

"She was lucky to have you," Lorna said.

Nicky just sniffled. Lorna bent down and kissed her wet cheek.

"You've still got me," she said, knowing that it wasn’t enough. "I’m here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah."

Lorna wrapped her arm around Nicky and turned her so that she was facing her. Tucking her head underneath her chin, she hugged her tightly to herself, rubbing her back as Nicky continued to cry.

Now they were the same, Lorna thought dully. They both had loved ones ripped away from them. But they would help each other through this. Just like Shani had said, Nicky had been keeping them both alive, and now it was time that she did the same for her.


	11. Decommissioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "lorna in a moment of clarity just admitting she is jealous of shani, maybe her own insecurities telling her nicky doesnt find her fun or pretty anymore and nicky reaassuring her that she is when she notices lorna kinda mopey in her cell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to snickers who requested this in Chapter 5.

It was with a sick feeling to her stomach that Lorna was standing in the door to Nicky's cell, watching out while the blonde was searching the web on her smartphone. The ominous feeling that everything was slipping from her grasp had been following her for months, and she felt that Nicky was one source of it.

Lately, the other woman had been so preoccupied, it was as if everyone and everything was more important to her than Lorna. Red, she could understand. After all, the Russian was the closest thing to a mother that Nicky had. But then, there was that new girl. That Shani girl that had first sneaked her way into this country and then between Nicky and her.

She didn't like the way Nicky had just brushed off her concerns. Of course, Nicky was a grown woman and responsible for her own actions, but that girl was just bad news and sure to take advantage of sweet, supportive Nicky. Lorna didn't want that girl to break Nicky's heart in such a devious manner. Nicky deserved so much better than that.

But why couldn't Nicky just see that?

_ 'Cause she don't take you seriously,'  _ Lorna thought to herself.  _ 'You're only good enough for a fuck, or a laugh. But she doesn't give a shit about what you think.' _

She thought back to that time when Nicky had told Shani that she, Lorna, was slow on the uptake. While she'd been sitting _right next_ to her. That one still stung, and it was only with disgruntlement that Lorna condescended to give Nicky advice on how to obtain Luda's address. And it didn't even earn her a fucking _'Thank you'_ \- just another sarcastic-sounding comment about her brain that, granted, she didn't quite _get_.

_ 'Next time, you're not so nice,' _ she swore to herself as she was marching off to her cell right after Nicky had put away her phone, unable to bear staying there any longer.  _'Next time, you leave her to figure it out on her own. And if she needs help, she can just go ask her precious_ Shani. _How's that?'_

Hot tears prickled behind her eyes, making her feel ridiculous. It wasn't that she was _jealous_ , alright. There was no reason to, not really. After all, she had Vinnie and Sterling. It made sense for Nicky to be with someone as well. Everyone would be happy that way. Two happy couples/families. Wouldn't that be right? Wasn't that what she'd always wanted? 

Back in camp, when Nicky had returned from Max, Lorna had wished for her to stop trying to seduce her. To stop distracting her from her path to a good, wholesome, loving family life. Now Nicky was doing just that, leaving her alone, but it didn't make Lorna feel any better. No, it hurt to be cast aside, ignored, mocked, while the blonde's attention that used to be all hers was now so clearly focused on such an undeserving stranger.  _ Anyone _ would be upset about being treated like that, wouldn't they? And she couldn't help but wonder if that's what Nicky and herself had looked like to others back in the day - a pair of sickeningly happy lovebirds that were constantly all over each other.

_ 'What does Nicky see in that woman anyhow?'  _ Lorna thought, mindlessly pulling out her phone from under her pillow.  _ 'Alright, so, maybe she's smarter,' _ she reasoned as she turned on the front camera.  _ 'Probably younger, too. Also prettier,' _ she added to her thoughts as she examined her image on the screen with distaste, wishing more than ever that she could hide herself behind her dearly missed layer of make-up, like in the better days. She sighed. She was losing this battle in every way.

Lorna Morello, the phased-out model. Decommissioned.

A knock at her door made her startle and the phone slipped out of her hands. As she looked up, she realized, to her embarrassment, that the originator was Nicky. She quickly fumbled for her phone and turned off the screen. No need for giving the blonde the satisfaction of knowing that she'd just been moping over her mirror image.

"Hey, you're alright, kid?" Nicky asked, setting foot into her cell, slowly, as if she wasn't sure if Lorna was safe to approach. "You were gone all of a sudden."

Lorna plastered on a smile. "Yeah, I'm alright," she replied in a voice that came out a little too chipper to be convincing. And, of course, Nicky couldn't be fooled. The woman's brows were still furrowed when she crossed the distance between them and gingerly sat on the edge of Lorna's bed.

"Look," she started, placing her hands on Lorna's shoulders. "I wanted to thank you for your help. I couldn't have gotten that far without you. So, thanks."

Despite her determination to stay in a bad mood and to let it out on Nicky, a smile tugged at the corners of Lorna's mouth. A small but genuine one this time. Until she realized that she couldn't remember that Nicky had actually spoken with Luda.

"But you didn't get through."

"Voicemail," Nicky replied with a shrug and ran a hand through her already messy mop of hair. "Gonna try it again in a few."

Lorna nodded. However, Nicky still looked concerned.

"You sure you're okay, kid?" she asked, putting her hand back on Lorna's shoulder.

Her hands were warm, Lorna noted, and her thumbs were rubbing circular patterns that she found to be more soothing than she liked to admit. She was sitting so close and, despite herself, she felt herself drawn in by the depth of Nicky's eyes which seemed to tell her, in a way that was as comforting as it was maddening, _ 'I see you for who you are and it's okay.' _ It brought her back to that afternoon that now seemed so long ago, when they'd sat in a similar way on a particular set of stairs and she'd felt not much different from this, vulnerable and inadequate.

"You think I'm still pretty?" The words had tumbled out of her mouth before her brain allowed them to. When she realized what she'd just said, Lorna's eyes widened with mortification.

Nicky's eyes did, too. She’d probably expected a real problem, and not some stupid,  _ loca _ shit like this, and Lorna braced herself for the inevitable scoff. But-

"Of course I do," Nicky said, her voice unexpectedly soft, and she reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind Lorna's ear, a gesture that sent a shiver down her spine. "Wait, you don't?"

Lorna gave a shrug, lowering her gaze, but with a hand underneath her chin, Nicky tilted her head back up, forcing her to look at her.

"Hey, look at me. You  _ are _ pretty, alright? What makes you think you're not?"

"I dunno." Lorna shrugged again. "I guess I'm just not feeling like myself lately. Like… like being a mom made me invisible."  _ Old. Burdened. Easy to replace by some fresh-faced exotic girl. _ "You know? Like in that show Scrubs with the wedding ring."

"You're  _ not _ invisible," Nicky said with insistence. "If anything, you've turned into a MILF." A blush crept onto the blonde's face. "I'm sorry," she retracted. "What I'm saying is you've still got it in you, kid, alright? You're hot. Hot  _ and _ adorable. That's something you don't come across a lot."

Lorna felt her lips split into a little grin. "Ah, there she is," Nicky exclaimed triumphantly. "C'mere."

This was probably all wrong, Lorna thought, but as Nicky's arms enveloped her in a warm embrace, she felt her defenses break down and she couldn't help but sink into the blonde, closing her eyes as the woman started to stroke her hair.

"Hey, I…" she heard Nicky say. "You… mean a lot to me. You know that, right?"

She wished she could believe her. But she tried to push her doubts aside. For now, she decided as she wrapped her own arms around Nicky's back, she'd take whatever she'd get, pretending that things were still like they used to be and enjoying this moment in which she had Nicky all to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …or: "Tales From Lorna's Bed, Part 372", lol.
> 
> This took me forever to finish, mostly because I didn't know how to end it. I was debating making Lorna tell Nicky full on that she feels neglected, but I felt that a lack of such open communication might have contributed to the coolness between them in the following episode and those awful accusations of Lorna's later on. So I left it at this, which I think goes better along with the prompt anyway. Let me know what you think. 


	12. Bodyguard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for this while I was writing what will most likely be the next chapter. So those two will have a thing in common.
> 
> I have ideas for two future chapters in total, and they will all be from Lorna's POV. So, if any of you has something you want me to write from Nicky's POV, just give me a shout.

From the moment she'd first laid eyes on her, Lorna had brightened Nicky's so far sad and dismal world. It was her unwavering ability to see beauty and excitement in the smallest and most mundane of things, even in a drab place like prison, her warm and caring nature, and the fact that she was just so fucking _adorable_ in everything she did that made Nicky feel a warmth in her chest that she'd thought she was no longer capable of feeling.

Other inmates, however, didn't exactly see Lorna with the same eyes. Many considered her annoying, if not loopy. Granted, when Lorna was harping on about her goddamn _wedding_ with her goddamn _Christopher_ , Nicky could see their point. But, all in all, she found that Lorna's company was more than worth putting up with that shit, and a selfish, slightly fucked-up part of her even felt that the fact that she was the only one who saw Lorna for the beautiful, wonderful woman she was only strengthened the bond they shared.

But then, the whole Christopher business blew up in a regular shitshow and Nicky started to worry about the girl.

Because the revelation had occurred in a roomful of spectators, and if Nicky was shocked, what would  _ they  _ be?

This was why she decided that she would no longer leave Lorna alone.

It proved to be a wise idea because badly concealed whispers already followed them around on the very next day. News traveled fast as fuck in this shithole.

"I can't shake the feeling everyone's staring at me," Lorna noted when they were queuing in front of the Commissary. "Do I still got TP in my hair or something?"

Nicky's obligation to answer was rendered void by a loud voice that drowned out everything else.

" _¡Mira! ¡Ahí está! ¡Lorna la Loca!_ "

It didn't need any knowledge of Spanish nor the fingers that were pointed right at her by the group of yeering Latinas walking down the hallway to understand what that meant. Lorna blushed furiously and hunched her shoulders, undoubtedly in an attempt to literally sink into the ground.

White-hot rage bubbled up inside Nicky.

"The fuck did you say?" she growled, stepping out of the queue towards the girls.

"What's that, _puta_?" one of them grinned. "You playing the bodyguard for the crazy one?"

"Keep going, and I'm giving you _crazy_ ," Nicky threatened, hearing her blood rushing in her ears, as she took another step towards the girl, her face now only inches away from hers.

"Hey, break it up, or that's a shot!" CO Maxwell bellowed from further down the hall. The Latinas marched off, but not without a last sneer in Lorna's direction, and Nicky resumed her place in the line where Lorna was still standing, her eyes fixed on her shoes.

"You shouldn't have…" she mumbled.

"I know. I'm sorry, but…"

Nicky didn't know how to finish that sentence without sounding like a patronizing asshole. But the whole scene confirmed to her that her instinct to protect Lorna was justified. She realized, though, that if this instinct got her sent to the SHU, she would no longer be able to do anything for her. If only Red was still running the kitchen. Maybe then, she could've convinced her to slip some nasty stuff into the food of anyone who talked shit about Lorna.

  


* * *

  


For as long as she knew her, Nicky had been Lorna's rock, (usually) steadfast and (for the most part) reliable. She had always been there (well, _almost_ , but let's not think about the exceptions now) and there was hardly anything that could bring her down.

So, when the blonde didn't show up for dinner, Lorna didn't think too much of it. She was sure that Nicky would be fine. So far, even under the most adverse of circumstances, she'd always come back to her.

But when she was still nowhere to be seen later that evening, the brunette started to worry. Memories of Nicky being dragged off to Max flooded her mind, a catastrophe that she wouldn't even have known about had Red not alarmed her.

But now, they already _were_ in Max.

And the awareness of this heightened her fear that something might have happened to the other woman. Her worry turned into reality when, eventually, she got wind of the rumor that Nicky had been beaten up by C-Blockers and sent to Medical.

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

When Nicky returned to D-Block a few days later, heartbreakingly aching and black-eyed, but otherwise fine, Lorna’s elation was boundless. And still, her anxiety did not disappear completely.

"You'll never be safe if you keep hanging out with Cunt-Block trash," she voiced her concern. "You're painting a big, bright target right there, on your back."

If it was up to her, she wouldn't have allowed Nicky to leave D-Block until the whole matter was dead and buried. But the reality was that it wasn't and that they still had cleaning duties to perform in C-Block. Predictably, the moment they'd set foot in the enemy block, two of those bitches, Teng and Eckelcamp, got right in Nicky's face.

"Ooooh, nice bruises, cunt licker!" Teng sneered and Eckelcamp broke into giggles. "Hope it reminds you to stay the fuck away from us!"

"Oh, but it doesn't," Eckelcamp said, gasping for air. "I mean, she's _here_. Maybe we should give her some more. Remind her again."

Her heart racing with fury and panic, Lorna stepped in front of Nicky.

"You wanna get to her, you gotta get past me first!" she hissed.

"You want something, too, midget?" Teng asked, stepping closer to her, but Lorna stood her ground.

"You're  _ really  _ gonna hurt a pregnant lady?"

"Uh, no, course not," Eckelcamp said quickly and tugged at Teng's sleeve. "C'mon…"

"Wow," remarked Nicky, watching as the two women cleared off. "So, I guess you're my bodyguard now."

Lorna gave her an indulgent smile. As they started cleaning the block, she made sure to never stray too far from Nicky. She wished that the blonde would finally realize what danger she was in. As much as she wanted to, she knew that she couldn't protect her forever, not without risking the safety of her precious little Kitten. This, she concluded, was what they needed Barb for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _¡Mira! ¡Ahí está! = Look! There she is!_   
>  _Puta= Bitch_


	13. Bruises

On her way to breakfast, Lorna realized that her super-sensitive pregnant nose would not allow her to tolerate the smell of cheap lukewarm oatmeal and chemical-laden jello today. It was for this reason that she decided to forgo the meal and to take a shower instead.

Much to her surprise, she met Nicky there who was in the process of arranging her utensils on the bench by the wall for a shower of her own.

"Nicky!" she called her. "Aren't you gonna eat?"

"I could ask you the same," the blonde responded, fishing a bottle of shampoo out of her shower caddie. "You gotta nourish that fetus, Lorna!"

"Don't worry, I'm just having a Snickers later."

" _Nut-ritious._ "

"I doubt that the slop they serve us here is any more healthy," Lorna reasoned. "But you…?"

"I am making use of the rare chance of minimum bitches," Nicky explained. "All the racket during prime shower time ain't helping my migraine."

Lorna nodded sympathetically, remembering the headaches that Nicky was suffering from ever since she'd been attacked in the library.

"You want me to leave?" she asked. "I can shower later."

Nicky shrugged. "Meh. Do whatever you want, kid."

"Then I'll just wait here," Lorna said, leaning against the wall, but Nicky stared at her with an air of impatience.

"Fine, but, uh, could you gimme some space? So I can undress?"

It made Lorna chuckle on the inside. It was kind of funny that Nicky was insisting on her privacy, even from her, despite all the sex they'd had during which they'd both seen each other in ways that were a lot more raw and vulnerable than this. In a way, it was adorable, even though Lorna didn't really get it. It wasn't that she didn't acknowledge that Nicky didn't feel comfortable about her body - no, she knew the mindset all too well from her own experience -, it was just that she thought that Nicky was gorgeous.

"Right," she said, sitting down on the bench with her back towards the blonde. But when she heard the rustle of clothes beside her, she couldn't help turning her head to risk a furtive glimpse at Nicky who was pulling her shirt over her head. The sight of the pale bare skin on her lower back that was gradually exposed made her unconsciously lick her lips. But then, she saw the dark bruises on her ribcage and she let out a gasp.

"Jesus, Lorna, the fuck did I just tell you?" Nicky exclaimed, holding up her bunched-up shirt in front of her chest as she halfway turned towards her, her face tinted with a lively shade of pink.

"Sorry," Lorna squeaked, feeling her face heat up as well. She quickly averted her gaze, forcing her eyes to remain focused on a pattern in the messily plastered wall by the entrance while Nicky continued stripping.

As she was waiting, however, anger mixed with her embarrassment. Unwantedly, her mind was conjuring up horrible images of how those bruises must have come to be. The thought of Nicky being beaten, maybe even kicked as she was lying helplessly on the floor, made her stomach burn in ways that outshone her worst bouts of morning sickness. It was those Cunt-Block bitches that had done this to Nicky, she seethed. What kind of monsters were they, doing something so vile and disgusting to someone as sweet as Nicky who had a heart of gold and would never, _ever_ , hurt anyone?

And then, she heard the shower go off, and a whole other train of thought barreled into her mind.

Nicky was standing there, all naked and drenched, just a few meters away from her. Thinking of it, of the way her wild hair was turning slick and sticking to her skin, of the way the water was running all over that beautiful nude body of hers, tracing her curves, painting ornate patterns on her soft skin, was inappropriate and sinful, and yet, the awareness made her hold her breath and press her thighs together in a pathetic attempt to stifle the heat that was building up between them. She felt as relieved as she felt disappointed when the shower stopped and Nicky emerged from the stall, a towel meticulously wrapped around her body and another one around her hair.

"You need help getting dressed?" Lorna offered as Nicky approached, forcing her tone to be light and telling herself that helpful and selfless was all that she was.

"No, no, I'm good!" Nicky said, sounding alarmed, but when she brought her hands up to the towel turban on her head, she winced pitifully.

"I think you do," Lorna deadpanned. She got to her feet and reached out for Nicky. "Come here."

Staying focused on her task of towel-drying Nicky's hair, however, turned out to be harder than she'd thought. Nicky smelled nice, and Lorna struggled to fight down the urge to pull the towel off her torso. She wanted to lay bare those bruises, to touch them, gently, and to kiss them. Anything to make up for what Nicky had endured. To give her the love she deserved. To take the pain away from her and to put it onto herself.

"Does it hurt a lot?" she asked.

"Nah," said Nicky. "It's my ego that hurts the most."

Finally, the job was done, and Lorna watched, entranced, how Nicky brought her hand towards her chest.

"Uh, would you mind?" the blonde asked, gripping the towel there.

"Ah, yes, of course, of course..."

Lorna gathered up her things and hurried to the far end of the room where she started to prepare for her own shower.

A cold one was sorely needed right now.


	14. Mother

As the van rumbled down the road on the way to the detention center, Lorna felt at peace. Being in this vehicle again, even though she was only riding shotgun this time, reminded her of her old job as the driver. She still missed it. Nevertheless, she enjoyed this rare opportunity to take in the spring atmosphere. To see the trees with their budding tender green leaves through the low-hanging morning fog. To witness how the world was coming back to life.

It was a quiet drive as everyone was still tired this early in the morning. When Lorna took a peek at the rest of the kitchen crew behind her, careful so that O'Neill wouldn't notice, she saw Nicky sitting next to Red, fast asleep with her head on her mother's shoulder.

The sight made Lorna smile. Nicky was _so_ not a morning person and it was beyond adorable. And it warmed her heart to see the blonde so peaceful, finally reunited with the Russian. She remembered too well how Nicky hadn't stopped worrying for months until the older woman was finally released from the SHU.

Suddenly, the van made a strange noise like a gunshot. O'Neill barely managed to steer it onto the emergency lane before it abruptly stopped and everyone was jerked forward.

"Ow, what the _fuck_?" Flaca exclaimed, and Lorna startled. Red let out a grunt. Nicky woke up and grumbled something that sounded like "Not fucking there yet."

Meanwhile, O'Neill was making repeated attempts to restart the engine, but it gained no reaction from the van. "Oh, that old hunka junk," he muttered under his breath before he raised his voice, addressing the women.

"It's an engine failure."

Gloria was pissed. "Oh, _of course_!" she lamented. " _Everything_ in this prison is trash, down to the damn VCR! O'Neill, you better get this sorted out, _quickly_! People are going hungry 'cause of this!"

"Everyone stay calm," O'Neill ordered. "Stay in the van. I'm calling for help."

As he was making the call, the inmates collectively groaned with annoyance. Except for Nicky who just mumbled something, put her head back on Red's shoulder and went back to sleep. Red tenderly looked down at her.

"Aw, it's so nice seeing you guys like this," Lorna said to the Russian. "The two of you, you're real lucky to have each other." But then, her stomach clenched as she was fully hit by the realization that her own situation was wholly different. "I miss my little Sterling so much," she added, blinking back a tear. "How were you able to live this long, in here, without your sons?"

"I built myself a family in here," Red said simply. "A mother will always be a mother, no matter the circumstances, because she _has to_. It's _inevitable_. An _instinct_. A _need_ that's never gonna go away. I'm blessed that this little girl here let me in," she added, moving her head, gently, to lean against Nicky's.

Lorna nodded. She could see the pattern. It wasn't just Red and Nicky. Gloria and Flaca, who were now whispering in the back of the van, seemed to have a similar dynamic. But where did this leave _her_?

She was happy for Nicky to have found a mother figure in Red. From all the things the blonde had told her, Marka certainly didn't deserve that title. Thinking of it made Lorna angry. It was unfathomable to her how that woman could treat her own child like that, by choice, when she herself would do anything just to hold her sweet baby boy for just another moment. The thought that they would be apart for another year, that her beloved Sterling was forced to live without his mom for such a long time, broke her heart. And poor Nicky had to spend her whole life like that. This wasn't right.

After a few more minutes of waiting and O'Neill's ramblings about King, another van pulled up next to them. Red gently shook Nicky awake.

"Christ," Nicky muttered, rubbing her eyes. "Can't a woman sleep in peace for more than _five_ minutes?"

She shuddered when she stepped into the crisp air to board the new van. Lorna, who was standing next to her, drew herself up on her tiptoes and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Whoa, what was _that_ for?" Nicky asked, eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

"Oh, just because," Lorna responded with a shrug of her shoulders. "Maybe it'll help you wake up at last."

"This is not a fairy tale and I'm not Sleeping fucking Beauty."

"Oh, but you _are_ ," Lorna said and leaned into her as she queued up in front of her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is chapter 49 if you look at Instants and Insights as one unit. Never thought I'd take it this far, tbh, but here we are. Do any of you guys have a wish for chapter 50? Because I'm out of ideas atm.


	15. Aptitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still reading these? Haha. I haven't updated this in forever because, real talk, since s7, writing for those two feels fucking depressing, BUT - I couldn't just leave this at ficlet #49 (jfc, it's absolutely ridiculous that I've managed to write so many of these). Alas, here's number fucking 50 now. Cheers to everyone who has stuck around this long!

While the Job Fair was a welcome break from the usual monotony of prison life, the prospect of filling in sheets upon sheets of dumb fucking questions for a pointless fucking aptitude test did not exactly fill Nicky with excitement. She figured, though, that it might be slightly more bearable to do it with Lorna. It was for this reason that, test sheets in hand, she walked down the row of Suburban cubicles in search of the brunette. Much to her dismay, however, Lorna was not in her cube.

Nicky was about to turn and leave when heavy footsteps announced the arrival of her target. Curiously, Lorna's arms were laden with an abundance of commissary candy which was a stark contrast to the expression on her flushed face that could only be described as pissed off. Grinning with amusement, Nicky leant against the cubicle wall and crossed her arms.

"What, you're having a party and you didn't invite me?"

But Lorna only gave her the stink-eye as she marched past the blonde.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! It's all _good_!"

This was Lorna's response as she unceremoniously dumped the candy onto her bed, and it sounded positively deranged. She plonked herself down next to the pile, ripped open a Snickers bar and crammed nearly the whole thing into her mouth. For a moment, Nicky just stood there, half morbidly mesmerized, half anticipating the need to perform a Heimlich, and watched as Lorna was chewing with way more force than necessary.

" _Okayyyyy_ ," she said eventually and followed Lorna into the cube. "But once you're done choking yourself, wanna do this test with me?"

She waved around the sheets in her hand, but judging by the way Lorna was glaring at them, she could just as well have brought in a bag of wriggling cockroaches. The brunette swallowed her mouthful of candy, then snapped,

"Put that the fuck away!"

"Whoa, has it done something to you?" Nicky asked and sat on the chair in front of Lorna's locker. 

"It's _bullshit_!"

"Yeah, you're not wrong," Nicky admitted and turned away from the sight of Lorna stuffing the remaining chunk of Snickers into her mouth to grab a pencil that was lying on top of the locker. "The last time I took one of these, it said I should be in the Army." She let out a snort. "Can you imagine that, me, living on a schedule, risking my life for dibs on Middle Eastern oil fields so that my fat neighbor Joe can have cheap gas for his truck to go to the pizza joint down the block?" With a flourish, she unfolded her test and read, " _'Would you like to repair damaged farm equipment?'_ Oh yeah, I know how _you'd_ answer that one!"

"I ain't answering anything," scoffed Lorna who had started to dig into a pack of cookies. "I put mine into the trash."

"Why?"

Lorna let out an almighty sigh. Nicky braced herself for a long-winded emotional rant and she was not disappointed.

"That guy," the brunette started, now squeezing a bag of gummy bears in her hand as though it was a stress ball, "that godforsaken old, bald _guy_ \- he told me - he - he had the _nerve_ to tell me - that staying at home and taking care of Christopher's babies ain't a career and that I _need_ to do his stupid test!"

"Wait - you _told_ him that?" Nicky asked, but if Lorna had heard her, she wasn't willing to acknowledge it.

"I mean, who does he think he is, forcing _his_ way of life on everyone?" the brunette whined theatrically, eyes brimming with tears. "Me and Christopher, we're _traditional_. He works and I take care of the house! What is so wrong with that? Why can't people just _get_ it?"

The bag burst open in her hand and half its contents spilled into Lorna's lap. She helped herself to a handful and started to munch.

"Modern politics," Nicky made use of her chance to speak, "always threatening the traditional white Christian family."

"Yeah, isn't that right?" Lorna squeaked, nodding fervently. "I'm so glad you understand, honey!" 

"I was just-" Nicky started, but when she saw how much happier Lorna looked, she couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence.

"We're not like that, you know," Lorna explained, playing with a corner of the ripped gummy bear bag. "I mean, I am not… freeloading or nothing. It's just that I can afford it to stay at home because Christopher earns a lot of money. Have I told you that he's spent _a four months' salary_ on my engagement ring? He didn't have to do it - normally, it's just three - but he _could_!"

"He sounds like Marka," Nicky said, frowning as she looked up from her test. "Throws money at you but never visits."

At that, Nicky could have sworn that she saw Lorna twitch, and suddenly, everything seemed to fall into place. 

Nicky had been suspecting for a long time already that Christopher either was a full-on figment of Lorna's imagination or that he was, in fact, real and had dumped Lorna's ass before the girl had come to Litchfield, and that she was still desperately holding on to the relationship to the point of delusion - either way, a fucked-up sort of coping mechanism to deal with a gruesome reality. But it seemed as though the counselor's reprimand had stirred up something in Lorna's head circus, rousing that part of Lorna's brain that was aware that, either way, this relationship wasn't real. It would explain why she was reacting in such an exaggerated manner now. Maybe, just _maybe_ , there was hope that she could fully snap out of it. Maybe if she, Nicky, could prod her just a little further into that direction…

"Wouldn't you rather have, y'know, someone who's actually _there_ for you?"

"But he _is_. He's not visiting because he's always so busy with work, so he can afford our house and our car and all our nice vacations!"

…or, well, maybe not.

"Why are you bothering with that test anyhow, if you find it so stupid?" Lorna asked, now comfortably leaning against the wall.

"Cause I'm a masochistic fuck," Nicky said, ticking a few more boxes on the paper, "and I wanna add to my ever-growing list of regrets the thought of what I could've been if I hadn't found heroin. Isn't it nice to think that in an alternative universe, we could be Nicky the Soldier and Lorna the… uh, whatever it is you wanna be."

Lorna shrugged. "I've never thought about it," she said. "Daddy always said I'm gonna be a wife and mother."

"But is that what you _want_?" 

For a moment, Lorna paused. "I believe in fate," she replied eventually, "and what I want is fulfilling my role."

"God, if patriarchy was a person, he would've creamed himself about now."

At this, Lorna threw another candy bar at Nicky. It hit her in the shoulder.

"Go get your test results, Private Nichols."

"Alright," said Nicky. And she got to her feet and made her way out of the cube before a fresh role play fantasy could get the better of her. 


	16. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has gotten a bit out of hand, lol. Consider it 3 1/2 chapters or so rolled into one. To avoid any confusion, this is meant to be chronological, except for one scene which I'm sure you can place.

It was just a couple of weeks, and yet, it was enough for Lorna's life to go completely to shit. One day, life was good, if one disregarded the fact that she was a prison inmate. She had a very attractive fiancé who loved her and a very exclusive driver job that she enjoyed. And then, she lost both.

Of course, Lorna was no stranger to life changing in a sudden twist. She'd been just a child when her parents, once dependable pillars in her life, had both become nursing cases within a literal blink of the eye, and left Franny, Mikey and her to fend for themselves. Considering this, things could've been worse.

Nicky had reminded her of this, too, when she'd first told her about Miss Rosa's escape.

* * *

_"Are you fucking kidding me?" she'd said, but Lorna could've sworn that she'd heard a hint of awe in her tone. "What is it with you and that van, huh? It's a miracle they haven't stuck your crazy ass in the SHU, you know?"_

* * *

Lorna _did_ know, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel disheartened. It wasn't just the losses that got to her, it was that she felt like her life no longer had a purpose. And so she stopped caring. Stopped putting on her make-up and doing her hair in the morning also, because what was the point if she'd only end up sweaty and disgusting from her new job in Janitorial anyway? Of course, this was a drastic change in her appearance that did not escape Nicky's watchful eye.

* * *

_It was unusually sunny for this time of year when the family went into the yard on their afternoon off. Lorna immediately regretted this decision as soon as she set foot outside. The sun was too warm and the sky was too bright, contrasting grotesquely with the way she felt, as if they were doing it on purpose just to mock her. She also hated all the other inmates who were chilling out here. It was as if they were a whole different species - people who could still be disgustingly happy about a thing as trivial as the fucking_ weather _, because they hadn't been robbed of the last remaining things that made their lives worth living._

_Before long, it became too much. She couldn't stand it anymore. And without a word, she rose to her feet and rushed back inside._

_As she arrived in her cube, however, a new wave of dread engulfed her. As annoying as the noise was outside, the silence in the deserted dorm was almost deafening, amplifying the chaos in her brain. She wished she could distract herself somehow, but ever since the Christopher debacle, reading magazines and creating collages no longer brought her joy. In fact, she had thrown all that she had into the trash._

_"You alright, kid?" Nicky's voice, raspy and familiar, cut through her gloomy thoughts. And her stomach tightened as she saw the blonde standing there in the entrance to her cube. Lorna shrugged._

_"Wanna talk?"_

_"No, not really."_

_"Wanna scream and smash things?"_

_A small smile tugged at the corners of Lorna's mouth._

_"I don't think the guards would like that."_

_"Nah, they won't. But you can demolish_ me _in a round of Spit, if you're game, so to speak."_

_"Don't you wanna be with the others?"_

_"And indulge in all those lovely conversations? Just so you know, Gina and DeMarco are discussing their toe hair as we speak. As if this place wasn't traumatizing enough already."_

_"Poor you," Lorna chuckled. "Okay, let's do this!"_

_And they spent the remainder of the afternoon like this, playing cards and sharing their candy, and somehow, the world seemed a little less fucked up._

* * *

Lorna was wrong. There _was_ something that she could still hold onto. Nicky was still there. Nicky was always there, just like she had been all the time, even after she, Lorna, had ended the fuck buddy thing they'd had going on. Nicky was dependable and sweet and, almost despite herself, Lorna came to the realization that she was happiest when she was with her.

* * *

_"No," she'd said, feeling resigned, no longer having it in her to keep up pretenses, not when Nicky had seen her like that only minutes ago, utterly exposed and humiliated like never before. "Nobody's gonna love me."_

_Nicky hadn't argued back or scoffed or told her that she'd been being dramatic or whatever else she'd had anticipated. Instead, her response had been simple and calm, and unexpected like a sudden cold wave washing over her._

_"I do."_

_For a moment, Lorna had been certain that she hadn't heard correctly. Surely, she must have lost her mind completely now because Nicky couldn't have meant that. Not the Nicky who told her at least twice a week that she was crazy and who considered women as pastimes or scores in a fuck contest. Not the Nicky who had just seen first-hand how crazy she was_ precisely _, and straight-up impossible to love as well. But when she'd looked up at the blonde, there had been such sincerity in her eyes that she couldn't just help but trust._

* * *

Things had been awkward between Nicky and her after that. Between Lorna's exposure and Nicky's confession, so many things had been hanging between them, like clouds of fuck-up, but neither had had the heart to mention them again. Or maybe it was a silent agreement that they would just pretend that all of that had never happened and move on. Or, in Nicky's case, move away completely - maybe not immediately, because she was just honorable like that, but slowly, gradually, because she couldn't stay, could she? If she left, Lorna couldn't blame her. She was half expecting it, considering that she'd lost everything else. But surprisingly, they did not grow apart, they only grew closer together. Maybe Nicky had really meant it after all. Maybe this was something that Lorna could have faith in. Something real.

* * *

_Nicky made it a habit to drag Lorna along, and on most occasions, Lorna simply didn't have the energy to protest, even when she really didn't feel like whatever Nicky had in mind. Just like today, when Nicky insisted that she join her for movie night, regardless of the fact that all Lorna wanted was to turn in early, exhausted from her Janitorial duties as she was. Predictably, she couldn't focus on the movie at all. All her energy was consumed by her continuous struggle to keep her eyes open and she found herself taken in by the beckoning warmth of the body beside her._

_She couldn't keep this up any longer. And so she rested her head on Nicky's shoulder, and a sigh of relief escaped her (which went unnoticed on account of everybody wearing earbuds). This wasn't exactly like her much-desired bed, but in a way it was even better. She felt Nicky shift to press a chaste kiss to the top of her head and an arm wrapped around her shoulders. Lorna snuggled closer to her, feeling calm and content like she hadn't in a long time…_

_And then, a hand on her shoulder was shaking her and, suddenly, she was surrounded by a cacophony of voices and footsteps._

_"W-whassamatta?" she mumbled, using her hand to rub her bleary eyes and then her mouth that was, embarrassingly, running with wetness._

_"Time to wake up, Sleeping Beauty," came Nicky's reply._

_"Did I… fall asleep on you?" Lorna asked as she sat up straight. "Oh, I'm so sorry, hon! Shit, I've drooled on you, too," she added with mortification as she spotted a wet patch on Nicky's shirt where her mouth must have been. "Let me just get that real quick…"_

_She started to wipe at the shirt but she found that she was only spreading it._

_"Good thing you aren't wearing your lipstick," Nicky chuckled, "or else I would have_ that _smeared all over me."_

_At that, Lorna gave her a little shove. "Oh, as if you wouldn't like that."_

_But she was helpless against the mental image that suddenly invaded her mind - Nicky, with lip-shaped smudges of red all over her neck - and the throbbing between her legs that it caused._

_"Well, who wouldn't like a trophy?" Nicky asked. She rose to full height to make her way out of their row of seats and Lorna followed suit._

_"A_ trophy _?"_

_"A trophy. A badge of honor. An evidence of conquest."_

_"What, you think you can conquest me? You, Nicky Nichols, have an over-inflated ego!"_

_"And you love me for it."_

_Lorna just couldn't help but smile. "Maybe I do."_

* * *

Things were easy between them, and it felt so right. Lorna wondered if they could possibly return to what they used to have.

* * *

_After getting ready for the night, they walked into Piper on their way to their cubes._

_"Did you two just…_ do it _?" the woman asked point-blank, looking scandalized, wide eyes trained on the shower caddies in their hands._

_"Wow, Chapman!" Nicky exclaimed. "Talk about intrusion into privacy!"_

_Piper made a face. "Like you care about your privacy. Do I need to remind you that_ on my first morning _here, I saw you guys in the shower? And you didn't even bother to pull the curtain!"_

_"Gave you something good for your wank bank, huh, Chapman? But, y'know, we're gonna let you know next time, if you fancy a threesome."_

_"Ugh, you-"_

_For a moment, Piper just stood there, gesticulating, before she turned and stomped away._

_"You could've just told her," Lorna said as they continued walking._

_"But where's the fun in_ that _?"_

_"Is that what you fantasize about? A threesome with Chapman?"_

_"Nah. I'm not willing to share a beautiful woman like that."_

_"Now, which of us do you mean?"_

_"Take a guess," Nicky said with a wink and slapped Lorna on the bum._

_They briefly stopped in front of Lorna's cube._

_"Well, sweet dreams, beautiful!" Nicky said._

_"Good night, honey!" Lorna replied, fingers caressing Nicky's arm, and she watched, smiling, as Nicky sauntered off._

* * *

When Nicky had disappeared into her cube, Lorna sat down on her bed and let her gaze wander. Her eyes fell upon her trusty old lipstick sitting on her locker, waiting, like a good old friend, then upon the makeshift mirror on her wall. She had let herself go, she found. Her hair was in dire need of a cut. She would take care of that tomorrow, she thought, and she knew that she would because life was finally good again and she was ready to reclaim it.


	17. Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, well. I wrote this one before s7 with the intention of using it as a preface to a possible sequel after s7. But it has aged so badly that I don't think I'd want to use it still if I were to write a sequel now, so here it is.

Nicky was walking in circles inside her Ad-Seg cell. She was so fucked. So. Fucking. Fucked. She couldn't remember being in deeper shit. She thought back to the time when her dealer had sent some of his thugs after her because she'd been owing him a few Cs and had run out of things to pawn. And to Near-Death Experience Number Three from which she'd only been saved by the grace of open-heart surgery. And, _right_ , to being sent to fucking prison. But all that paled in comparison to _this_. This had _got_ to be the deepest of all shits.

It wasn't even that she was convicted of being a leader of the riot, even though this prospect had been dire enough for her to seek contact to the man who called himself her father after fuck knows how many years, and having to crawl to that cradle-robbing, whoring ass clown like a goddamn dog and play nice to him was a pretty fucking humiliating experience. At least the feeling was mutual, judging by the way he'd been pulling off a hell of a show pretending that everything between them was just fine and dandy. Which, in turn, had been utterly ridiculous considering that it had actually been through his assistant-slash-trophy-wife that Nicky had learned that he'd blessed her with a bunch of half-siblings (at least _that woman_ had had the decency to look somewhat ashamed). No, all of that were things that she could've lived with, eventually. But then, she'd got confronted with what the Feds were having in store for her.

_70 fucking years of drug charges._ Of course, she was well aware that in this festering cesspool of a country, drug-related crimes could easily be punished harder than even murder, but this one _had_ to take the cake. And, of course, the only way for her to get out of this mess was to drive a knife straight into the back of the first and only person who loved and cared for her the way an actual parent would. 

She clawed at her hair and pulled, letting out a loud growl through gritted teeth to release more of her pent-up restless energy. All her life, she'd never given a damn about herself. She'd actually embraced the idea of simply disappearing. Of being taken home by God or whatever the shit. She wasn't sure if the fact that this had never happened was because the guy loved her or because he hated her. Anyway. Now that it would've been wiser to _not_ give a shit, of course, she'd started to care. Go figure.

_Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce the one and only Nicky Nichols, who even fails at Not Giving a Shit!_

Because, yeah, that's what had happened. Her thoughts drifted to Lorna. Again. They did that a lot these days, even for her standards. But goddammit, she hoped with everything she had that Lorna was alright. If she was, that would make all of this worth it. The very thought that Lorna could be facing the same fate made Nicky taste bile in her mouth. As much as it had hurt to abandon her (and still did), in the light of this, she'd do it again. And again. And fucking again. No questions asked. Because Lorna deserved to have a future and to be happy. And not to be dragged down by the misfires of the brain synapses of some lovesick, hopeless, fucked-up junkie. She'd always had, but now even more so as she was so close to living the life she'd always dreamt of. A husband, a baby, and, eventually, quite probably, a dog and a car and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence around it. All the shit she used to jabber about endlessly, and now she had a real shot at all of that, and, well, maybe it was just the one time in her life that Nicky decided to not be a selfish fucking cunt, but she really wanted Lorna to have that.

But selfish she was, of course, and so she couldn't just let it go. She needed to _know_ that Lorna and her baby were okay. She needed to _make sure_ they were, if she had to. But the two of them were out there, somewhere, and she, Nicky, was here, caged in this stupid little box like some fucking animal.

_'If you want any sort of a life beyond these bars...'_ Michelle's words echoed in her mind. It was weird, because she'd never cared, but... _Yes_. She _did_ want a life. She wanted to turn things around somehow. Wanted to be a part of _Lorna's_ life, in fact. She wouldn't impose herself on her because, no, Lorna deserved everything she wanted and she didn't want Nicky. At least not _that_ way. But she liked the idea of watching Lorna be a mother to her kid. Of seeing the little one grow up. Of maybe being something like an "Auntie Nicky" to the kid. And of seeing Lorna be cherished and loved by her husband and child and have everything she ever needed and everything she ever wished for. Despite it all, these thoughts put a smile on Nicky's face. Well, almost. 

Nicky plopped onto her cot and stared between her knees down at the filthy grey floor. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what the fuck to do.


	18. Pharmacy

They had reached their goal, but at what price? While they now had a comfortingly solid wall between themselves and whatever madwoman was running around with a fucking _gun_ , they had in front of themselves a roomful of drugs and two deranged meth heads that were eager to go through the lot.

Under different circumstances, months ago, this probably wouldn't have given Lorna a reason to worry. It wasn't that she hadn't known back then that Nicky was a junkie - the blonde had been open about that from the beginning - but she'd been so good with her sobriety that Lorna had never fully realized what that meant. But now she had seen her relapse and experienced first-hand what she was like when she was high, and it was unsettling, to say the least. It was like losing her all over again, but, in a way, even worse than losing her to Max. Because now, she might be with her physically, but she was acting like a wholly different person, so unlike the one that she, Lorna, had grown to l-. _No._ No, she wouldn't think that. Not after Nicky had been acting like _that_. Not now that she had to keep her cool so that she would be able to make sure that Nicky wouldn't do anything stupid. Well, _more_ stupid. Oh, what a role reversal this was. Who would have thought that she, Lorna, would ever be the sane one in their relationship?

Everything in her was screaming that this was a terrible idea as she, despite all good judgment, unlocked one of the cabinets for Nicky. All to stick to the plan that Nicky had for - what? Outwitting the meth heads? It had at first seemed like this was what Nicky was aiming for, but what if she was trying to outsmart _her_ instead? What if it was all to get her own hands on the drugs? What if she, Lorna, was, right now, giving Nicky another opportunity to use?

Her train of thought was disrupted by the blonde meth head, Leanne, who lunged at the cabinet. The other one, Angie, _the fucking Shower Pooper_ , followed so closely behind that she slammed into Leanne when the latter came to a stop.

"The drawers!" Leanne exclaimed, pushing Angie off her back as she pulled open one of the drawers and started to dig through its contents, her voice tumbling over itself with excitement. "The needles gotta be in the drawers!"

Lorna leant heavily against the wall, feeling queasy. Needles of all things had to be Nicky's greatest trigger. Couldn't that redneck bitch have asked for _anything_ else? She hated every second of this, having to watch as Nicky was getting friendly with these vile people _again_. She was in a good mood to jump at the throats of the meth heads. Right now, the adrenaline surging through her veins was probably enough to make up for being outnumbered and at a physical disadvantage. But she was still hoping, maybe naively, that Nicky was, after all, appreciating the barrier between themselves and the madness on the outside as much as she did, and so she battled down the urge. She was half expecting Nicky to join the search with enthusiasm, but then-

"Whoa, whoa, easy there!" Nicky said and pushed the drawer shut. "Remember, _I'm_ the designated drug selector."

"Is that cough syrup?" asked Angie, pointing at a variety of small bottles in the open cabinet. "Oh, please, Designated Drug Selector, can I have some? My mouth's all dry. It's like my tongue is an old sponge or something."

Leanne sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't have tried to chew the bars, Ang."

"Excellent plan!" Nicky said, clapping her hands. "Let's all get drunk on cough syrup!"

"But I want fenty!" whined Leanne.

"And you _shall_ get fenty," Nicky reassured her. "Just think of this as the pregame, alright? The warm-up for the good stuff. Besides, we all gotta toast to our successful takeover of this pharmacy."

She proceeded to pass the little bottles to the meth heads who had now settled on the floor, then turned to Lorna.

"There you go, kid," she said and thrust a bottle into her hand.

"Wait, what're you doing?" Lorna hissed, grabbing Nicky by the arm. "I'm not drinking that! And _you_ sure as fuck don't, either!"

"Hey, chill the fuck out, will ya?" Nicky whispered. "Read the label."

Lorna shot her a wary look before she let her gaze sink to the bottle in her hand, then raised her brow in surprise.

"Glucose Drink?"

"Alright?" Nicky asked, holding up her own bottle for Lorna to see. Its label read the same. "I know you're still working through those trust issues, but it won't kill you to have at least _a little_ faith in me every once in a while."

"So, your plan is…?"

"Making these schnooks pass out, then getting rid of 'em, of course! What did you think? That I wanted to _use_ all those pills and shit? Trust, Lorna, _trust_!"

In all honesty, the answer was "Yes". Despite herself, Lorna found herself impressed. But before she could formulate an answer, one of the meth heads interrupted them.

"Can we toast already?"

"Right," said Nicky. She raised her bottle and cleared her throat. "To the successful takeover of our safeguarding stronghold! To fenty and to oxy and to not getting killed by a mad shooter!"

"Hear, hear," the meth heads said in unison before they gulped their cough syrup at an alarming pace.

"I want something else!" Angie lamented a few moments later.

"Then lemme get you something to get you through this semi-charmed kind of life of yours," said Nicky. She waited until Lorna had reopened the cabinet, then rummaged in it again. "How about some nice little pills?"

"Oh, yes, _pillspillspillspillspills_!"

Nicky opened a little bottle of pills and gave a few to Angie who immediately swallowed them dry. She then passed some to Leanne who, however, looked a lot more skeptical.

"What are these?"

"Uh, something that'll knock you right off your feet."

"But we're already sitting, dummy!" Angie chuckled.  


"And why ain't _you_ taking 'em?" Leanne asked Nicky.

Lorna's stomach clenched. Of course, their plan wasn't working. And now Nicky would either get busted or forced to take part in the pill swallowing and all her fears would become reality…

"I thought we should take turns," said Nicky. "We can't all be high at the same time, right, cause someone still needs to protect this place."

Lorna stared at the pair, holding her breath. Then-

"Suit yourself if you wanna miss out on the fun," Leanne said with a shrug, then downed the pills.

Lorna blew the air out of her lungs with relief. But then, Angie piped up again.

"Hey, Leanne, what if they're trying to make us black out-"

_Oh shit._

"-so that they can make out in peace?"

_What?!_

"Eww! You think-"

"Sure do! They were all whispery and lovebirdy the whole time, like they were in their own little world."

"I don't wanna sit here while they have lesbo sex!"

"No, but I'm happy for them. Remember how that one," she gesticulated at Nicky, "used to crush on me? I'm glad.. she found... herself... someone… else..."

And with that, she slid down the wall and started to snore. Seconds later, Leanne fell over and landed half on top of her.

"What were they talking about?" Lorna asked, still trying to process the information that had just been hurled at her.

"That they recognize magnetism when they see it," said Nicky, lightly bumping into her side. "Now, are you proud of me, or what?"

"You did good, hon," Lorna admitted, unable to refrain from smiling as Nicky flashed her a broad grin. "But don't you get all cocky, Nichols. You still have a long way to go."

"Fair enough," Nicky said, taking a sip of her drink. She prodded Leanne's elbow with her shoe. The meth head did not stir. "So, now comes the hard part. We gotta drag those dunces out of here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angie ships it, lmao.   
> The dialog in that episode was really fucking cringey and I tried to write it in the same style which was strangely fun.  
> Fun fact: Autocorrect kept changing "meth head" to "meat head". 


End file.
